Beware Of The Penguins
by Ooglafina
Summary: Taylor & Zac Hanson Have to stay with Isaac & his new wife Milicent. Scary. Please R&R!


"Hey, Ikey! How's married life treating you?" Zac said, pillaging the fridge. "We never see you anymore!"  
  
"You saw me yesterday. Why are you here?" Isaac asked as Zac drank his milk out of the carton.  
  
"Mom and Dad are taking the little ones to some unknown relatives funeral and we're going to stay with you."  
  
"They're afraid that Zac's gonna kill me in a house fire," Taylor said, looking at Ike's fish adoringly.  
  
"How come they didn't tell me about it?"  
  
"They knew you'd say no," Zac said, dumping the milk down the garbage disposal, looking as though he were going to die.  
  
"I'm making a grocery list, Ike. Do you need anything?" Millicent asked.  
  
"Milk!" Zac said gargling the mentioned liquid.  
  
"Be careful with my Ziggy mug!" Isaac said, refilling Taylor's coffee. "It's a collectors item."  
  
"That fish is ugly," Taylor said before dropping the mug into tank.  
  
"What did you do!" Ike said, running over to the fish tank.  
  
"I'm so sorry, Ike! I'll buy you another one. It can be replaced right?" asked a worried Taylor. The other Taylors were calm.  
  
"It'll cost $500 and you'll have to fly to the Amazon to get it but yeah," said Isaac as he washed the Ziggy mug. "Why don't you guys just go home?"  
  
"Can't. Mom and Dad already left," Zac said disposing of the little bit of the fish Taylor had gotten out of the tank.  
  
"They already left! When?"  
  
"An hour ago," Zac said turning off the garbage disposal. "Like we said; they knew that you'd say no."  
  
"I took the liberty of renting loads of musicals to watch tonight seeing that Zac has never seen any of the good ones," Millicent said, sitting a stack of movies on the counter.  
  
"Hey! Hair was a really good musical," Zac said defensively. "It was very creative costume-wise."  
  
"Zac, there were no costumes!" said Taylor throwing a fin in the garbage can.  
  
"Thanks for throwing that in the disposal, Zac," Isaac said, getting out the room spray. "Where did you see Hair anyway? It's not showing anymore."  
  
"Stockholm Civic Theatre."  
  
"No offense but I wouldn't trust the Danish with a production of Hair," Isaac said, coughing at the excess of room spray.  
  
"They were all really blond."  
  
"Does Mom know you saw that?" asked Taylor, still looking for fish parts.  
  
"I didn't lie. I was expanding my knowledge of theatre."  
  
"I'm just a sweet transvestite," sang Isaac as he come downstairs the next morning in a full Rocky Horror Picture Show costume.  
  
"I so didn't need to see that," Taylor said as he tried not to look at Ike.  
  
"Tay. Go make coffee," Isaac said as he came downstairs in his boxers yawning and scratching his butt.  
  
"I didn't need to see that either," Taylor said, still looking away.  
  
"Good morning all," Isaac said cheerfully as he came downstairs buttoning his suit shirt.  
  
"Much better."  
  
"Santa Fe.!" Zac sang loudly and off key from the bathroom.  
  
"Please tell me that he watched all of the musicals last night so I don't have to see any," Isaac said, playing with his tie.  
  
Taylor stood there and stared at Isaac.  
  
"Well?"  
  
"I couldn't tell you that because he didn't," Taylor said, chewing on a pencil. Taylor swallowed a large amount of lead and died within a year.  
  
"Isaac! I'd like you to meet your son!" Millicent said escorting a penguin wearing a baseball cap into the living room. "His name is Taylor."  
  
"Hi, son," Isaac said, getting on one knee. He produced a pretty ring, which Little Taylor turned up his beak to. "Wait a minute. Why is my son named after you?"  
  
"Well, everyone does love me more," Taylor said, looking smug.  
  
"My daughter will not be named after my brother!"  
  
"It's a boy!" Millicent said, picking up her child. She didn't realize it was an Emperor Penguin and she tipped over onto her face.  
  
"It's a girl if I say it's a girl!" Isaac said, taking the little pink clad penguin.  
  
"Dooby dooby doo. Beware of the penguin!" Zac said as he stood behind Ike.  
  
"How did you get down here so quick?" Taylor asked, walking over to the fish tank.  
  
"What does it matter?" Zac said, watching the leftover fish. "Since when were your fish piranhas?"  
  
"Since now I guess," said Isaac, standing on the other side of Taylor.  
  
"I don't know why anyone would bother buying carnivorous fish for pets," said Taylor, retrieving more fish guts.  
  
"Lump sat alone in a buggy marsh. totally motionless except for her heart. mud flowed up into lumps pajamas. she totally confused all the passing piranhas." sang Isaac and Zac in a little chorus line behind Taylor.  
  
"Hey! I see a fin!" Taylor said, reaching into the tank with the net. "Get me the Ziggy mug, Zac. I'm gonna knock this other fish out that's trying to eat it."  
  
"I think my Ziggy mug has seen enough fish guts for a while," Isaac said, stopping Zac.  
  
"Yeah, besides those are meat eating fish, now, remember?" Zac asked. "Are you sure you want to be reaching in there with your hands?"  
  
Taylor looked pensive for a moment and slowly pulled his hand out of the tank.  
  
"Um, Tay. Look behind you," said Millicent.  
  
Taylor looked behind him and promptly started running from the ghost of the dead fish.  
  
The ghost proceeded to chase him through the mirror library.  
  
Taylor was afraid for his life.  
  
"What color are my eyes, Ike?" Zac asked, standing closely behind Isaac.  
  
"The same color they were the last time you asked," said Isaac as he dried a giant punch bowl.  
  
"If anyone should know that, Zac, it should be you," said Taylor, taking a sip of coffee.  
  
"Good morning everyone," Isaac said, pouring himself a cup of coffee. "I had the oddest dream last night."  
  
" I dreamt about Hair," said Taylor. "It was the big and tall production by the Germany Nudist Camp Theatre."  
  
"I didn't dream about anything," said Zac.  
  
"I dreamt that I found a can of tuna in the cupboard and I did a little happy dance," said Millicent, demonstrating her happy dance.  
  
"This tater tot looks just like Jay Leno," said Zac holding the potato at point blank range with his nose. Zac is very talented to be able to hold a tater tot with his nose. "I'm not gonna eat it. I'm gonna save it forever and when I'm dead they'll put it in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame next to Mark Wahlberg's jockstrap."  
  
"Do I really need to eat the fish that I killed?" asked Taylor, "I said I was sorry. It's an algae eater for goodness sake!"  
  
Isaac awoke with a start. "Millicent! I had the weirdest dream last." Isaac trailed off.  
  
"Quack!" said little Taylor the penguin that was lying beside him.  
  
"Ah!" Isaac screamed with a start.  
  
"Shut up, Isaac," Millicent said, rolling over. "No matter how much you whine, I'm still not gonna be in the mood."  
  
"Wait! Where are Zac and Tay?"  
  
"In their own house, thankfully," said Millicent, getting up to use the lou.  
  
"And we don't have a penguin right?"  
  
"Where would we keep it? In the freezer?"  
  
"This is gonna sound odd but you didn't buy any piranhas did you?" asked Isaac, picking at a zit in the mirror.  
  
"Go to bed, Isaac," Millicent said, pushing Ike over to the bed. "You know that I don't want dangerous pets around Baby Taylor."  
  
"Baby Taylor?" 


End file.
